


The Madness of Love

by Nelioe



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Brotherly Love, F/M, Fíli Feels, Fíli has a creepy stalker, Fíli is too selfless for his own good, Hurt Dís, Hurt Kíli, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Kili is an awesome brother, Poisoning, Pre-Quest, Theft, Thorin can't help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-20
Updated: 2015-03-31
Packaged: 2018-03-18 19:40:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3581553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nelioe/pseuds/Nelioe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fíli is the young heir of an ancient kingdom, so it isn’t surprising that he’s desired by the ladies. That Fíli isn’t interested in any kind of love affairs had never been a problem. But it all changes when he starts to get presents from an admirer that won’t accept a no.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally written in my mother tongue and is now being translated. I’ve posted it as the full story, without any cuts, but most of the comments criticised this, because it’s rather long for a one chaptered story. So here I’ll be posting it in parts. Don’t know yet, how many it will be in the end, probably three or four, whatever feels right. Also, this story isn’t beta-read, because I don’t expect anyone to put up with such a long story, so if you find any grammatical errors I would really appreciate it, if you could point them out to me.

 

 

Fíli had gotten accustomed to the popularity. It wasn’t unusual for well-respected families to have a good reputation, which soon attracted admires to the oldest son. Fortunately this was never a problem among dwarves. It was well known that dwarves only loved once and not uncommon that some dwarves spend their life alone, therefore Fíli got rid of any unwelcome attention very quickly, when he rejected the respective girl kindly but also firmly in his choice of words. No one fought a hopeless battle.

 

However his current admirer couldn’t be rejected so easily, because Fíli had never met her. The only things that spoke of her existence were the presents she gifted him again and again. Every morning, when he left the house, he found a new gift. Usually it were flowers that grew on the meadows beyond the protective stone of their settlement. But sometimes also pastries and other sweets, even one or two pieces of leather work appeared.

 

Since Fíli wasn’t interested in any kind of love affairs and didn’t want to give the girl false hope, he gave away her kind gifts. At the beginning her effort had flattered him, but as time went by it became exhausting, especially since she didn’t give him the chance to reject her. Kíli was mightily amused over Fíli’s situation, he thought presents were great, probably only because he hadn’t anyone’s attention, as the younger son he wasn’t really interesting for the most female dwarves. Whenever Kíli brought it up again Fíli got angry, because his little brother just didn’t understand even rudimentarily what was on Fíli’s mind. Accordingly he’d given up on any conversation of that sort.

 

That he still wasn’t able to avoid them told him the current morning. After the last exhausting day and a finished night watch Fíli had hoped to not wake up too soon, but of course his brother thought differently, Mahal knew where he got his inexhaustibly energy from.

 

The door to his chamber opened with a creak and Fíli, who’d been in the middle of falling asleep, startled. Immediately light flooded the dark room and Fíli turned grumbling onto his side, so that his eyes would be facing the wall, if he wouldn’t keep them shut so insistently.

 

“Fíli?”, his brother fluted cheerfully, whereby Fíli felt the strong urge to slap him. As Thorin’s heir he already had to fulfil all sorts of important duties. Furthermore he hadn’t slept the last night, for he’d been on watch at the gate. Therefore, after he’d come home overly tired, the only thing he wanted to do was to sleep as long as possible, until he finally felt rested again. Luckily Thorin knew of the exhausting days he’s been having over the last weeks and had given him the next two days off and Fíli was determined to spend the first in bed and catch up on some sleep.

 

“What?”, he snapped. He was exhausted, irritable and just wanted to flee to the land of dreams.

 

“Your admirer left something for you again”, his brother exclaimed so playfully that Fíli could nearly hear the grin on his face.

 

“And?”, Fíli pressed on mildly impressed and wrapped up the blanket. He felt still a bit cold. Staying still the whole night near the cold stone could probably do this to anyone, but bit by bit the warmth returned to his limbs, which only made him sleepier. Unfortunately Kíli kept him once more from his well-deserved rest.

 

“She doesn’t seem to know you. There are raspberries in the cake. You don’t even like raspberries.”

 

Fíli moaned annoyed. Not in the slightest did he care if the girl knew him or what she baked for him. If he would’ve met her, he would reject her. “Is there something you want to tell me?”, he asked, while he wondered if it might be better to get out of the bed, throw Kíli out of his chamber and lock the door, so he could finally have some peace. But if there was one thing that he knew, then that Kíli would avenge such an action and at the moment Fíli wasn’t sure if this was worth a bit of sleep.

 

“Can I eat it?”, Kíli interrupted his thinking and Fíli hesitated. Was this truly all he wanted? But then it dawned on him. Dís, their mother, was visiting a friend and wouldn’t be at home until noon. Today Kíli was responsible for breakfast and lunch – not that Fíli intended to eat as tired as he was. With the cake Kíli didn’t need to prepare a meal. If Fíli wasn’t so exhausted, he probably would’ve laughed.

 

“Do what you want, but let me sleep”, slipped out of Fíli’s mouth. Just a few heartbeats later he heard quiet chewing noises. Of course Kíli would’ve cut the cake into pieces just in case Fíli gave his consent. His brother simply wasn’t teachable. What was much more important however was that he still stood in his chamber. Fíli huffed angrily. Kíli ignored this sound completely.

 

“The cake tastes a bit weird”, Kíli remarked. As Fíli knew this still wouldn’t hinder him to eat a second, third or even fourth slice. For in contrast to Fíli, who didn’t like some foods, Kíli could practically eat anything and this at all time of the day. From somewhere all of his energy had to come.

 

“Kíli?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Get lost.”

 

Hours later Fíli woke up at the early evening. He still felt exhausted and tired and would probably go to bed early this night, but long sleep had refreshed him noticeable and brought new calmness to his mind. After he’d washed and dressed he finished a bit of paperwork, which was left from the day before. When this was done he stepped into the kitchen, where he could hear his mother potter around. As expected Dís was already busy with cooking. On the table the ingredients were piled up and over the fire simmered a pot. A delicious smell had spread out in the room. Fíli's stomach answered immediately with a growl. As Fíli entered the kitchen Dís added some vegetables to the content of the pot, which he wasn’t able to identify from his place at the door. His mother had noticed his entering and turned to him with a warm smile.

 

“Did you sleep well?”, she asked and Fíli nodded, stepped beside her and gave her a little peck on the cheek.

 

“Would you be kind enough to clear the table?”, she requested, when she focused on their meal again. As Fíli could see now a pungent goulash simmered in the pot. Thinking about the tender pork, Fíli's mouth watered immediately.

 

At her request he frowned. “Shouldn’t Kíli be doing this today?“, he asked, just in case.

 

Dís nodded. “Yes, but he was a little unwell.”

 

He hadn’t looked like it this morning, Fíli thought. First he shirked from preparing breakfast and lunch and now he didn’t even try to help their mother? Apparently his brother was getting lazy. Still he followed his mother’s instructions, it wasn’t fair to let her pay for Kíli’s dirty tricks. As soon as he’d finished his work however, he crossed the kitchen, willing to drag his lazy brother out of his chamber.

 

“Fíli”, the voice of his mother stopped him.

 

He turned his head slightly and examined her questioning, his hand already lying on the door handle.

 

“Don’t be too hard on him. He didn’t look very well.”

 

Fíli furrowed his brows, but it didn’t stop him from looking for his brother. It wasn’t often happening that his mother asked him to be not too hard on Kíli. Often he’d his reasons and Dís encouraged him, the stranger this moment seemed. But maybe Kíli had just overdone it with the cake this morning and wallowed now in self-pity. However, when he entered Kíli’s chamber it was empty, although the rumpled sheets told him, that his brother must’ve been here not long ago. This strengthened his assumption at first, that Kíli had used a feeble excuse to duck out of the work, when he suddenly heard a noise he couldn’t make out.

 

The noise led him through the bathroom and in the small chamber at its end. Inside was Kíli, throwing up in the stony privy. Immediately all of Fíli’s earlier thoughts disappeared and he flew to his brother’s side. He held his hair carefully out of his face and rubbed his back gently. Only then did he notice that his tunic clang damply to the brunet’s skin and that shudders were rocking his body. Under the horrible stench Fíli had to screw up his nose, needing all his self-control to suppress a dry heave. It was more than obvious that Kíli's state was neither a simulation nor the result of too much cake.

 

It took far too long until Kíli’s stomach settled. Exhausted, he leaned against the cold stone of the wall near him. Finally Fíli could catch a glimpse at Kíli’s face. It was awfully pale and the damp sheen on his brow let him appear only sicklier. Fíli continued to rub his back sympathetically. How could an illness develop so fast? After all Kíli had been full of energy and dynamism this morning. Not to mention that his brother hadn’t been sick in years.

 

“Are you alright now?”, he asked softly and let go of Kíli’s hair to pull the chain, while his little brother breathed deeply through his mouth, as if he was on the brink of throwing up again. Instead of an answer Fíli received a barely noticeable shake of the head. Uncertain what to do now Fíli's eyes darted to the open door. Kíli would probably feel more comfortable in a soft bed than on the cold stone floor, but if his little brother feared to throw up again at any minute, he understood why he didn’t want to leave his current whereabouts. On the other side, if Kíli hadn’t eaten a lot today, than there couldn’t be much in stomach to heave up.

 

“Come on”, he said and grabbed the younger under his armpits to help him to stand up. “It won’t help you, if you stay on the cold stone.” Kíli didn’t protest as Fíli started to support him, it was evidence as to how badly the brunet truly felt. Before they left the bathroom, Fíli forced Kíli to rinse out his mouth, so his brother could get rid of the awful taste on his tongue at least to some extent, for Fíli doubted that it would ease the nausea otherwise. On the way back to his room Kíli seemed to lean on him heavier the more steps they took. The trembling of his knees didn’t go unnoticed as well. Fíli’ throat felt suddenly awfully tight.

 

His heart picked up speed when he’d brought Kíli to bed, his brother pulled the knees up to his chest, while he wrapped his arms around his middle. Obviously he didn’t only fight with nausea. Fíli didn’t like all this symptoms. He’d never seen a sickness that afflicted someone so fast and powerful and for the first time he feared for his brother’s life. Even with the blanket Fíli had covered him he still shivered terribly.

 

As he rubbed the back of his brother indecisively and deeply concerned the door of the chamber suddenly opened with a creak. Slowly Fíli turned his head and noticed his mother in the door frame, Thorin had probably come home and they’re waiting for the brothers to join them for supper. But Fíli knew that Kíli wouldn’t leave his bed today.

 

“How is he?”, Dís asked softly. Kíli chose this moment to reply with a miserable whimper that tugged at Fílis heartstrings.

 

“I think we should send for Óin”, he answered.

 

Hearing these words Dís blanched. She knew that Kíli couldn’t deceive his brother so easily and also that Kíli became rarely sick. To hear his son utter this thought alarmed her. As if he’d to confirm Fíli’s words Kíli uncurled, crawled to the edge of the bed and heaved dryly. His whole body tensed, his clothes clinging to his sweaty skin, while he desperately tried to throw up his non-existent stomach contents, until he finally disgorged a thin film of bile. At this sight the last bit of colour seemed to drain from Dís’ face. Never before had she seen one of her children in such a state and when Fíli began to rub his brother’s back concernedly and whispered soothing words to him, she’d already turned and bolted from the room.

 

“Thorin!”, Fíli could hear her shouting through the whole house. “You need to fetch Óin! Hurry!” Briefly he was able to listen to the startled voice of his uncle, but soon it was quiet again, with only Kíli’s deep breaths interrupting the silence.

 

Carefully he helped his brother, who lacked all energy, back to the middle of the bed and Fíli couldn’t shake of the queasy feeling that forced the most horrible imaginations in his head. His heart pounded furiously and sent an awful heat through his body.

 

Not much time had passed when his mother returned to the chamber, a steaming cup of tea and several clothes in her hands. Fíli could only watch with an unspeakable fear in his heart, how she placed one of the clothes under Kíli's tunic and straight on his stomach. She’d probably heated it with a flat iron. The mug however, she pressed into Fíli’s hands.

 

“Try to give him something of this”, she ordered, before she set to work and began to clean the floor beside the bed. Fíli nosed the hot drink carefully and sensed instantly the familiar scent of camomile.

 

He swallowed hard, willing down the tightness in his throat and concentrated on the task his mother had given him. It chased away the heat and the too fast heartbeat, but the collywobbles of fear seem to be anchored to his stomach.

 

“Kíli, try a bit of the tea”, he pleaded, but his brother shook his head weakly.

 

“I feel so sick”, he moaned and tried again to curl up. But Fíli didn’t allow it, he put the mug aside and pulled Kíli into a sitting position. A groan slipped past his brother’s lips, but he didn’t fight back. He leaned the younger against him, just in case.

 

“It’s camomile tea“, Fíli explained patiently, as Kíli’s head slumped exhausted against his shoulder. “It will soothe your stomach.”

 

Despite all of his persuasion, Kíli took only a few small sips and even this bit of liquid he was already choking up again by the time Thorin returned with Óin. Fíli was beside himself with worry. How could anyone help his brother, if he couldn’t keep anything down? This was his little brother on the bed, who twisted nauseous and in pain and looked like nothing was going to help him. The boy he’d nearly spent his whole life with, the boy he’d confided secrets to that he couldn’t tell anybody else. The boy he’d sworn to protect with his life and nothing seemed to help him!

 

Óin interrupted his lines of thought by pushing him aside and started to examine Kíli. Fíli, Dís and Thorin had no other option but to watch, although every one of them would’ve liked to do more for their youngest family member. They knew very well that he was in good hands with Óin, but it didn’t soothe the fear in their hearts. The healer made good progress with his examination – probably because Kíli endured everything quietly – but seemed not able to detect the reason for Kíli’s ailment, even though he’d sedulously palpated his belly.

 

Pensively Óin stroked his greyed beard and took his auditory tube afterwards, he adjusted it with a concentrated expression. “Have you eaten something foul?”, he asked. Óins features weren’t particularly hopeful, it was obviously the only explanation he could still think of. Fíli swallowed gloomily, he didn’t know much about medicine, but something deep inside him told him that Kíli’s symptoms were too severe to come from a foul meal. Besides, they checked their provisions in regular intervals.

 

As expected, Kíli shook his head. Óin puffed frustrated, a noise that sent a chill down his spine. This couldn’t be everything the old dwarf could do to help Kíli! There had to be something else, something he’d overlooked!

 

“Tell me, what you’ve eaten today”, Óin demanded the next moment and Fíli wanted to scream that this wasn’t bringing them any closer to a solution. All of the foods in their pantry were still eatable! Fíli’s anger choked within a heartbeat. _The cake tastes a bit weird_ , Kíli had said, when Fíli had been already half asleep.

 

“Could it be the cake?”, he piped up immediately. Apparently this thought had come to the right time, since Kíli brooded over Óin’s question but didn’t seem come up with an answer.

 

“What cake?”, Thorin, who’d observed the whole thing with concerned features, inquired.

 

“It’s from a girl. For weeks now I get presents from her, but she won’t show herself”, Fíli replied.

 

“Bring me the cake”, Óin ordered, after the words made him prick up his ears. With a nod Dís hurried out of the room, obviously knowing where Kíli had stored it if she could set off so purposefully.

 

Their mother didn’t need long to return with three-quarters of a cake in her hands. Fíli used this opportunity to sit down next to his brother once more. He started to rub the brunet’s upper arm gently. Kíli tried to smile encouragingly, but it looked just distorted and not in the slightest reassuring.

 

In the meantime Óin put a fingertip sized piece of the cake in his mouth and chewed highly focused. He didn’t swallow but spat it in one of his handkerchiefs. “Rhododendron”, it slipped out of his mouth and without any explanation he took his bag and started to rummage in it.

 

“What’s the meaning of this?”, Thorin demanded to know.

 

Óin didn’t look up during his search. “Rhododendron is poisonous, it’s what’s resolving his symptoms.”

 

“Is it lethal?”, Dís hurried to ask, while Fíli’s inside suddenly felt ice-cold. His admirer had poisoned his brother… Because some girl longed for his affection Kíli was now lying here, writhing and unable to keep his food down…

 

“Not necessarily”, Óin answered, bringing a vial, filled with black powder, to light. “But the dose makes the poison and fact is that I was able to taste the rhododendron and this bides ill.”

 

“But you’re able to help him?”, Fíli pressed on frantically.

 

“I can give him charcoal to extract the poison and he has to drink quite a lot, the loss of fluids after vomiting mustn’t be taken lightly, but everything else is up to him”, Óin told them and thereby giving Fíli no clear answer. Whilst Óin was dissolved the charcoal and another powder in water, Fíli reached for a hand of his brother and held it in his. He squeezed it reassuringly.

 

“Hang in there, Kíli. You have to fight, you hear me?”, he whispered concernedly to his brother. Kíli’s confused gaze concentrated on him and literally broke his heart. Never before had he seen the younger so vulnerable and enfeebled, the sensation of helplessness felt like it was going to tear his insides apart.

 

The mattress of the bed dipped slightly as Óin sat down and held the cup of his mixture to Kíli’s lips. His brother, however, turned his head and tried to get away from the potion, his movements were so sluggish and weakened that Fíli had to bite the insides of his cheeks to keep himself from weeping. “Kíli, you need to drink this now”, Óin told him sternly, but also with a strange softness in his voice.

 

“No”, Kíli slurred.

 

And Fíli, who knew his brother better than anyone else, squeezed Kíli’s hand gently and, as a result, got the brunet's attention. “It will help you, Kíli. You want to feel better, won’t you? Óin’s potion can help you, not like the camomile tea.“

 

At first Kíli merely blinked absently and Fíli feared already, that the younger wasn’t able to understand him any longer, but eventually Kíli nodded so slightly that Fíli thought for a moment he’d only imagined it. But when Óin tried to give him the medicine once more, Kíli swallowed the viscous potion without resistance.

 

 


	2. Part 2

 

 

As it turned out the other substance in the mixture, besides charcoal and water, had been a soporific. By now Kíli was sleeping and the healer had left the family with the words that he would return on the next day to look after his young patient. It took a lot of Dís’ persuasion to urge Fíli into the kitchen, where he now sat together with his mother and Thorin and tried to swallow his supper. It probably tasted superb, like it always did, but Fíli’s mind wasn’t able to realise it, on top of it he’d lost his appetite a long time ago.

 

After they’d silently finished their meal and Dís began to clear the table, while Fíli wanted to return to Kíli’s chamber, Thorin’s fist suddenly collided with the dining table, causing them to pause abruptly.

 

“When are you finally going to tell me who the girl is you got the cake from?”, Thorin sternly demanded to know.

 

Fíli was so startled by the sudden outburst that he could only stare at his uncle at first. But eventually it seeped into mind, what must be going on in Thorin’s mind. He must believe the girl was an admirer like anyone else and that Fíli only had to reject her kindly but firmly, so the unwanted courting would come to a stop. Little did he know about the stranger that gave him presents, after all, he’d long lost the house, when her gifts arrived. Even Dís had been no more than roughly informed of problem, Kíli was the only one who really knew what was going on, although he’d nothing but used it tease him, instead of coming up with solutions.

 

“Uncle, I don’t know her. For weeks now she makes me presents, but she isn’t showing herself. There isn’t a family crest on them or anything else that would help me to identify her”, he replied vehemently. Just the thought Thorin could think he protected the girl, that had poisoned his brother, angered him.

 

“Tell me the truth, lad”, his uncle demanded instead, obviously unable to believe Fíli’s words. It was something that hurt more than the blond was ready to admit. “She’s tried to poison you! Tell me her name!”

 

A shiver run down his spine and nausea sat so suddenly in his stomach that Fíli feared he was going to throw up at any moment. Thorin had made him realise something very important. This hadn’t been an attempt on his life. This girl knew him much better than he preferred, because – as Kíli had phrased it so aptly this morning – he didn’t like raspberries. She’d known that he wouldn’t touch the cake. But who had she been after? Had it really been his brother? Or even the children he’d given the sweets to? Whoever her target was, just the thought turned his legs to jelly. Today Fíli had nearly lost his brother and apparently someone had planned it.

 

“Thorin!”, Dís flare up. “We’re all angry and horrified, but that still isn’t any sort of reason to blame Fíli. By Mahal, Kíli is his brother! Do you truly believe Fíli would protect her, after everything that has happened?”

 

Thorin’s expression darkened, he didn’t argue further, however. “How many times is she bringing you gifts?”, he asked instead.

 

Fíli dropped his gaze, his body was shaking from his former realisation. He swallowed hard before he gave Thorin the required answer. “Every day. Every morning, when I leave the house, they’re there.”

 

“I want guards before the door and in the hall. I swear to you and Kíli that this criminal will pay for what she did!”

 

Even though Fíli felt a bit safer after Thorin’s flaming words, he couldn’t get rid of the nagging feeling within him. Kíli was young and strong and yet the poison had given him a hard fight. How would the children have fared? Would they’ve died? Would’ve help come too late? Just the thought made him nauseous and was only outranked by the awful fear of losing a brother. By now Fíli sat at his bedside again. Over the last hours Kíli’s sleep had been deep and calm, not a glimpse of pain was visible on his features, yet Fíli still feared that Óin’s medicine wasn’t enough. This was probably the reason why he held his brother’s hand in his, while his thumb rested, where he could feel the strong pulse of the brunet. It was the only thing that calmed the fears that tried to tug him into the dangerous spiral of dark thoughts.

 

It couldn’t be long until dawn, Fíli hadn’t slept the whole night, when Kíli suddenly stirred. A nearly burned out candle bathed the circle around the bed in a warm, orange light and covered half of Kíli’s face under dark shadows. His brother blinked slowly, obviously needing a moment to understand where he was, but after a little while he noticed Fíli and his eyes were so clear and beamed only warmer among the soft smile on his lips, so that Fíli’s fear of the last night diminished.

 

“Hey”, he greeted the younger one tenderly. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Better”, Kíli replied immediately. “There is still a slight stomach-ache, but the nausea is finally gone.”

 

Just a few words and still they were able to arouse memories of the last hours. The tears were suddenly there. His brother lived. Óin’s medicine had worked.

 

“Mahal, come here.” He pulled Kíli in a hug, while he cried tears of relieve. Kíli patted his arm awkwardly and rested his chin feebly on Fíli’s shoulder. For the next heartbeats he just held is brother, assuring himself that he was still alive. When they finally parted he glanced at brunet sheepishly. Kíli didn’t tease him for it, an obvious sign for his poor state.

 

Without any words he poured water into a cup from a jug, he’d brought with him as he’d returned to his brother’s chamber, and offered it to Kíli.

 

“Here”, he said. “Óin said you should drink plenty of fluids.”

 

Kíli took it with a grateful nod and downed it with only a few gulps. When he put the cup down however, his features changed. Confused, Fíli frowned, while Kíli turned the cup in his hands and eyed it with a bewildered expression.

 

“I’m sorry”, Kíli told him eventually, which only caused Fíli to furrow his brow more perplexed.

 

What was Kíli apologising for?

 

“I should’ve taken the whole situation more seriously”, Fíli got his desired answer not much later. Kíli didn’t need to speak on to tell his brother what he was aiming at. In turn Fíli tiredly run his fingers through his hair.

 

“There isn’t anything to forgive. I didn’t expect these things to happen, either.”

 

Kíli watched him through eyes that must look as exhausted as his own. “What’s going to happen now?”

 

“Thorin is going to post guards. We can only hope that they’re going to capture the girl.”

 

 

 

 

His admirer didn’t show up again and little by little Fíli started to relax again. The guards in front of their house had probably scared her off. Of course it didn’t make good for an attack on his brother, but Fíli began to feel a bit safer. Kíli needed more time, the poison had taken its toll and so he slept the most time. During his recovery Fíli stayed at his side, since a part of him was feeling responsible for what had happened to Kíli. But life goes on and soon he didn’t waste much thought on his creepy admirer.

 

Weeks later Fíli was heading home from a meeting he’d attended with his uncle. The sun was slowly setting and some dwarves busy with lighting the halls for the night. But when he arrived at home he couldn’t smell the usual scent of supper and didn’t hear a lively conversation between his brother and his mother. Instead he was greeted with an empty room. Dís, as well as Kíli, was missing.

 

This sight was so unfamiliar that an uneasy feeling settled in Fíli’s stomach. Nearly a week ago Thorin had pulled the guards off, when it had become obvious that they weren’t going to catch the blond’s admirer this way, therefore no one was present to tell him of the whereabouts of his family. Just in case he searched the whole house, but all chambers were empty. Just when he wanted to set off to his uncle, in hopes that he was at least informed, the forceful knocking at the front door reached him. He only needed a few heartbeats to cross the entrance hall and opened the door.

 

A young, red-haired dwarf with a shrubby beard stood in front of him. Fíli immediately recognised his cousin Gimli by his wild head of hair that would do every dwarf proud.

 

“Kíli sent me. He told me you would be home by now”, his relative blustered out, wasting no time with a greeting. It didn’t bother Fíli in the slightest as soon as he heard the name of his brother.

 

“Has something happened?”, he asked instantly as Gimli started to tug him along. Fíli closed the door hurriedly and followed his cousin.

 

“Dís got attacked on the market. They weren’t able to capture the attacker”, Gimli explained. “She’s alright”, he added, when he noticed the horrified look on Fíli’s face.

 

He hastened his steps, guessing that Gimli was leading him to Óin anyway. Besides, where else should he have met Kíli?

 

“What do you mean, she’s alright? You said she got attacked!” Dwarves were only treated at Óin’s if something bad had happened, furthermore, Kíli was with her and not at home to tell Fíli about the attack. This and Gimli’s words against it made no sense and only scared him further. His heart started to beat harder under these feelings and his fast run, so that it felt like it was going to burst in his chest.

 

“A blow to the back of her head. She’s awake and except for the nausea and a headache she seems to be fine. Uncle Óin just wants her to stay overnight, to make sure that she’s completely alright, but other than that she’s fine”, panting, Gimli tried to calm him.

 

Fíli bit back an angry comment, that a blow to the head wasn’t something that justified a _she’s alright_ , but only because they’d arrived at Óin’s house. Without slowing down he entered and detected his brother almost immediately, who seemed to be involved in a serious talk with Thorin and Óin. So his uncle had been informed about Dís’ state at the same time he was. Of course Kíli was the first to notice his presence and gave him a crooked smile, which instantly chased away some of the fear and tension from Fíli’s body, since Kíli’s little gesture told him more than every other dwarf was able to do with words. As long as panic was absent from Kíli’s features everything was alright.

 

With a relieved sigh his shoulders slouched. Kíli left the other two dwarves and walked over to his brother, in the meantime Thorin and the healer continued their conversation.

 

“What’s happened to her?”, he repeated the question he’d already asked Gimli.

 

“I’ve helped mother doing some errands, we were on our way back when we got attacked. The thief was after mother’s necklace and dealt a heavy blow when she fought back. I tried to chase him, but I lost sight of him in the crowd”, Kíli explained compunctious. Fíli could see the blame on his brother’s features straightaway.

 

Gently, he placed a hand on the brunet’s shoulder. “Stop it”, he reassured him. “You did what you could. How is mother?”, the last he added to forbid Kíli from protesting. Luckily it worked and Kíli chuckled.

 

“She’s awake, furious and wants to go out and capture the thief all by herself.”

 

Fíli snickered softly. “Yeah, that sounds exactly like her.”

 

“Fíli, Kíli”, they heard the voice of their uncle and turned around to face Thorin. “Come.” Indicating them to follow him, the brothers entered the chamberwith Thorin and Óin, where Dís rested in a bed. At least resting was what she should’ve been doing, before Fíli could even see her however, Óin clicked his tongue.

 

“I told you to lie down. If you continue to neglect my advice I’m going to tie you down!”

 

“Now you even sent for Thorin and Fíli?”, his mother flared up, ignoring Óin’s threat completely. “For the love of Mahal! I’ve only a bump on the head, I’m not dying!”

 

A bandage of white linen was bound around her head and showed that Dís tried to downplay her state. After all, she was in one of Óin’s treatment rooms, where the dwarf normally treated patients or kept them for a medical observation if he thought their condition was critical. She must’ve been unconscious for a few minutes, otherwise she would’ve never allowed them to place her on the soft bed she was now sitting, with pillows between her back and the bed frame.

 

“Enough!”, Thorin interrupted Dís as well as the healer. Fíli understood him only too well, although his mother looked surprisingly well, the concern still chewed at his insides. She was well known, as well known as any member of Thorin’s family, and the thought, that someone still dared to attack her, worried him deeply. There was no dwarf that Fíli thought capable of doing this to his mother. She was a respected woman and could be scarier than Mister Dwalin.

 

Under Thorin’s rumbling voice Dís winced slightly, her right hand wandering instinctively to her head to palpate her, without doubt, throbbing head. From one moment to another she looked terribly exhausted, as if the words of her brother had deprived her prior strength.

 

“Lower your voice, Thorin. It was a hard blow to the head and just because your line is blessed with pig-headed dwarves it doesn’t mean that they’re invulnerable”, Óin put his distant cousin into place.

 

Thorin didn’t answer, but nodded to show that he’d taken note of the other dwarf’s words.

 

“Kíli told us, that you were attacked. What did the thief steal? Did you recognise him?”, their uncle asked quietly.

 

Dís slowly dropped her hands to her lap and looked at her brother through tired eyes.

 

“No, I didn’t recognise him”, she answered and shook her head carefully as if to underline her reply without mistreating her head. “As usual the market was crowded. Someone grabbed me from behind and tried to steal my necklace. I fought back and the thief knocked me down. He just wanted the necklace, nothing else”, she finished her explanation in a low voice.

 

Automatically Fíli clenched his fists, if he would get a hold of the thief he would let him pay for what he’d done to his mother. At the same time Kíli bowed his head in shame. The blond didn’t blame him, in the crowd of the market it was nearly impossible to react to such an act in time, but he also understood why the younger felt guilty, Fíli would’ve probably felt the same way had he been in Kíli’s shoes. Thorin’s expression however darkened and Fíli could almost see how the thoughts in his head worked like cogwheels, trying to connect the all these information.

 

“What kind of necklace have you been wearing?”, Thorin pressed, despite the knowledge on his features. Fíli couldn’t tell what this all was about.

 

Much to the consternation of the brothers tears were shimmering in their mother’s eyes. Fíli and Kíli exchanged a worried glance, before the younger made uneasy step towards the dwarrowdam.

 

“Mother?”, he whispered, concerned.

 

Never before had they seen Dís in such a state of agitation. Normally she was strong and proud. Even when she’d lost her husband Fíli had never seen her cry in his presence. She’d always seemed like an unswerving prop to her children, as solid as a rock that survived every storm unscathed. To see her now completely changed tightened his insides, until he feared to throw up at any moment.

 

“The mithril-medallion”, Dís eventually answered her brother’s question. “My only memento of Erebor. The medallion that’s handed down in our family for generations. I’m so sorry, Fíli”, the last words were directed at him.

 

Confused, Fíli could only stare at her.

 

“Someday it should’ve belonged to your bride”, she revealed.

 

Fíli swallowed hard. Of course it was only a thing, it might’ve been of value and tainted with memory, but it remained a thing. It was more important that nothing worse had happened to his mother. Still he understood why the loss of the necklace made her feel low.

 

“We’ll capture the thief“, Thorin promised his little sister. “A medallion as this will draw attention. He won’t be able to sell it so easily and since the attack the guards are keeping their eyes open. He won’t get away.”

 

But despite his vehement words everyone present knew that the chances were low to get the medallion back.

 

 


	3. Part 3

 

 

After weeks had gone by the medallion and the thief still weren’t found, Fíli had expected it, but it still pained him to see how his mother would sometimes stroke her neck wistfully, as if she hoped the necklace might’ve returned magically.

 

At this evening however, he didn’t want to dwell on gloomy thoughts. After a long day at the training ground he, Kíli and a few of their contemporaries wanted to spent some hours in a tavern with a tankard of ale, mead or wine, whatever they’re in the mood for. Because, after a long day of exhausting training sessions, there was nothing more relaxing than drinking, a good conversation and the high spirits inside a tavern.

 

Heavy wooden tables and chairs adorned the large taproom. Behind the bar a young thing served drinks, while an older girl, responsible for the dishes, moved between the tables and placed soups and bread on them. Of all the taverns, this was the one Fíli preferred. It belonged to a plain family that worked hand in hand. The parents cooked, whereas the children hosted the guests. Disorderly behaviour wasn’t accepted here and punished with a house ban for life. Another one of their kin made sure the ban was complied, he and Thorin had fought the Battle of Azanulbizar and he was just as scary as Mister Dwalin. So it wasn’t surprising that the two warriors got along really well whenever they met.

 

As usual the air in the tavern was filled with smoke and Fíli didn’t think twice either, as he lit his pipe. In the back most corner, close by the crackling open fire, a dwarf stroke up a jolly song on the fiddle. The bystanders clapped their hands and under their loud bawling the musician sped up the melody, the dwarves cheered with joy. Fíli’s tapped his toes in the rhythm of the music, while Kíli drummed much more unashamedly on the table. Seeing the enthusiasm of his brother Fíli laughed.

 

Afterwards they talked for some time about their training progress. One of their companions whined about Fíli’s and Kíli’s horrible combination attacks he just couldn’t win against. The brothers grinned at each other. Kíli held his hand out and Fíli, clasping it, shook it firmly.

 

“It was my pleasure”, Kíli declared cheerfully.

 

“Any time again”, he nodded to the brunet.

 

At the mere sight of it, their companion grumbled and looked into his tankard sulkily. But the more the evening progressed, the more of their group said goodbye until only Fíli and Kíli were left. Just as they’d decided to go home as well someone pushed two full tankards of ale towards them.

 

“It must’ve been ages since I saw you the last time”, said the new arrival, as Fíli started to observe him.

 

The dwarf was a young man with wild, black hair he wore in numerous braids, they framed his features, but here and there they tried to escape his neatly tresses. This was probably the reason why he hadn’t bothered to tame his thick beard. Considering his modest clothes, he didn’t belong to a wealthy family. Tunic and trousers in subdued colours dressed his sturdy body.

 

“Torge?”, Fíli asked truly surprised.

 

Instantly the dwarf nodded, obviously pleased and took a seat on the bench on the opposite side of the brothers.

 

“It really has been ages”, Kíli agreed and grateful took the tankard. “How has the world been treating you?”

 

“Thank you for the ale”, Fíli interrupted before the other could reply and nudged Kíli in the side with his elbow. In the process Kíli choked on his drink and started coughing for some time.

 

“Yeah… thanks”, he willed out between his hacking noises, giving Fíli a venomous look nonetheless, but it wasn’t really impressing.

 

“You haven’t changed at all”, Torge laughed amused. “Well, how has the world been treating me? Good, I would say, at least I can’t complain. I’m getting trained to be a healer and it’s a great feeling to be able to help other dwarves”, he explained, relaxed he took a sip of his drink.

 

Until adolescence they’d learned with Torge and some other boys how to fight with an axe and Fíli had enjoyed the company of the simple dwarf. With the years however, it got obvious where everyone saw their future destination and while Torge had only trained to defend himself if necessary, Fíli and Kíli still learned how to use every kind of weapon. Thorin’s lineage had to be experienced in many different things, but especially being able to protect their own lives was one of it. Threats would always exist and in case of emergency princes mustn’t depend on bodyguards. In the Ered Luin they hadn’t even these people around them, therefore their training was often embed in their weekly schedule. They probably belonged already more to the warriors than to any other profession, although they were still giving other things their attention. Torge’s training however had stopped, when it was time to find an apprenticeship with a skilled master.

 

“That’s wonderful”, Fíli agreed. He was truly happy for the other dwarf.

 

In the following they talked awhile about old memories, like the one time, when one of the boys had pulled Kíli’s pants down, during a training session, which had ended with the brunet stumbling over the fabric all of a sudden. Of course Kíli wasn’t amused to hear of this story again and pouted for some time, until he remembered a tale to embarrass Fíli.

 

“And he really made the mistake and bragged about his skills in front of Dwalin, whereon he forced him through the whole training without a break until Fíli threw upwith exhaustion directly on Dwalin’s boots”, Kíli told with a broad grin Fíli wanted to wipe from his face.

 

Torge however listened enthusiastically, since some of the stories were unknown to him, despite having trained with them nearly the whole time. He laughed loudly, as Kíli finished the tale.

 

“Dwalin’s boots?”, he asked disbelievingly and wiped a few tears of laugh away. “What did he do with him then?”

 

“Letting him clean his boots, of course!”

 

Fíli pretended he hadn’t heard his brother’s reply and emptied his tankard in one gulp. This was indeed one of those stories that could still make him blush with embarrassment. Sure, it had been his own arrogance that got himself into trouble, but the mockery lasted for a long time after he’d suddenly thrown up his breakfast. To top it all the alcohol seemed to go to his head now, since his movements started to feel a bit sluggish and the tavern blurred from time to time before it sharpened again. The air, smelling like ale and smoke, made it only worse.

 

He got up slowly and interrupted Kíli’s and Torge’s lively conversation, without knowing what they’re even talking about. Was it still his mishap or were they discussing a totally different topic?

 

“Oh, come on, don’t be like that, it was just a joke”, the voice of his brother reached his ears, sounding strangely muffled.

 

All the talk about his childhood, too much ale and the awful mixture of smells forced him to swallow hard as nausea began to crawl into his stomach bit by bit. He needed to get some fresh air. Maybe afterwards the uneasy feeling in his belly and the dizziness would disappear again.

 

“Are you all right?”, Kíli pressed all of a sudden a bit more serious, once he looked at his brother Fíli could even detect a hint of concern on his features.

 

Fíli tried to smile reassuringly, but he couldn’t tell if it was believable.

 

“I only need to get some fresh air”, he answered calmly, although it sounded a bit distorted in his own ears. Damned alcohol!

 

Cautiously he turned away from the table and step by step he aimed for the door, fearing to weave through the taproom, should his concentration slip just for one moment. After all, a lot of dwarves were currently in the tavern and gossip travelled faster than the best riding animal. Having arrived outside, Fíli took a deep breath of the fresh night air, while he leaned against the wall of the building. His knees were shaking terribly by now, as if they would soon refuse to carry his weight for much longer. Fortunately the inside of the mountain was deserted outside the tavern, the most dwarves were probably already asleep at home, and so no one would see him in his poor condition. The only noises, he could hear, came from the inside of the tavern.

 

But even after some time away from the interspersed air and the uncomfortable volume, that normally didn’t bother him, the spinning of his surroundings hadn’t ceased which was why he closed his eyes, it was a desperate attempt to stop the dizziness. He drew a deep breath and exhaled slowly. It didn’t help, despite his closed lids he still felt like the whole ground under his feet was moving, his stomach turned in response. Mahal, he hadn’t even drunken that much!

 

The front door of the tavern opened and steps came closer. Fíli didn’t dare to open his lids to look at the one that had left the building, fearing that he was going to lose his balance otherwise. It felt like he only needed to see the world spin with his eyes and his control would slip.

 

“Fíli, is everything all right?”

 

As soon as he heard the voice of his brother he dared to lift his lids. Panting, he watched Kíli worriedly when something suddenly slid down his cheek. Confused, he wiped it away and detected trails of liquid on his fingers. He hadn’t even realised that he’d broken out in a cold sweat. The spinning of the world sped up and out of the blue his legs weren’t able to carry him any longer.

 

Kíli reacted instinctively, grabbed him by the upper arm and guided him gently to the stony ground of the hall. Fíli thought he was going to choke under the nausea in his belly, which only caused him to gasp, feeling cramped.

 

 _I don’t feel so good, Kíli_ , he wanted to say, but his tongue had forgotten how to work properly and couldn’t connect the sounds as needed. It chased away Kíli’s concerned expression and left a heart-breaking fear.

 

“All right, I’ll take you to Óin”, he told him hurriedly and bend down to either help him up or to carry him if necessary.

 

Before he could do so however, Fíli slumped down, no longer able to stay even in a sitting position and not a moment later Kíli fell to the ground with dull thud. Fíli tried to call out to his motionless brother, but darkness covered his consciousness.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, Part 3 is a bit shorter than the other two, but the last part will be the longest, so I hope it is alright.


	4. Part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING! Please make sure you've read the taggs before you read this chapter.

 

 

 

Fíli groaned, waking up slowly. His head felt as if it was filled with cotton wool. A sharp pain sat behind his eyes and prevented him from opening his lids. His whole body felt heavy and immobile. For now he just concentrated on breathing deeply, hoping that it would chase away the pounding in his head and return the old clarity to his mind. This was the moment when he recognised the rough fabrics bounding his wrists and ankles.

 

Frightened, he opened his eyes, only to stare at the ceiling of a huge four-poster bed. The dark green curtains were drawn and denied him a view of the chamber he’d been brought to. But he could see a light through the coat of velvet, it was more than one source of light, candles or lanterns, maybe even an open fire. He wasn’t able to listen to any kind of spitting of flames however, for the buzzing in his ears was far too loud.

 

Where his mind had not long ago felt like it was trapped in a heavy fog, it was suddenly wide awake. His unfamiliar surroundings and the last memories, before his awful awakening, pumped the blood in panic through his veins. He turned his head quickly, jerked with hands and feet, but it was in vain. The tight ropes fastened him nearly to immobility. An ice-cold shiver run down his spine as he realised that someone had undressed him completely.

 

Despairing, he ripped at his bonds more strongly. Unsuccessfully. By now his breath burned terribly in his chest, the fear compressing is lung like a vice. He couldn’t breathe! He was going to choke! He needed to get out!

 

The ropes cut into his joints, while he reared up and grunted with exertion in the desperate attempt to free himself. The burning on his skin got worse with every heartbeat, but Fíli was willing to go on. He clenched his teeth until he could hear them grinding together, every muscle in his body was stretched to its breaking point. Only as a small trickle of blood ran down his arm he lowered himself back to the sheets.

 

It was no use… Alone as he was he couldn’t win against the ropes.

 

Just when he’d accepted his hopeless case, he heard the door opening, soon followed by footsteps that aimed for the bed. With a jolt the curtain was drawn and Fíli got finally a view of the inside of the room. Bizarre, was the only word that came to his mind as he observed the chamber. Tapestries with his crest adorned the austerely, grey walls of stone. If it wasn’t for the wall decoration the furniture, a the spitting image of his own, would let the chamber look as if he was at home, in his own room. Shivers run down Fíli’s spine, while he observed the room through wide eyes.

 

Only when the dwarrowdam beside the bed started to giggle Fíli paid attention to her. She wore a pearly-white undergarment, a sharp contrast to her dark hair. He knew her from somewhere, that was for sure, but something caught his eye and kept him from thinking about where he’d already seen her. The piece of jewellery around her neck sparkled almost mockingly.

 

“You mugged my mother”, slipped out of his mouth, his voice still throaty after awakening.

 

She cocked her head with a soft smile and eyed him with an expression that made his flesh crawl.

 

“I have done what?”, she asked with a laugh. “Oh Fíli. You’re so funny.” She declined and caressed the mithril-medallion instead. “It’s sitting well on me, isn’t it?”

 

He pulled at his bonds, aware that it probably wouldn’t be successful. As expected he couldn’t win against the ropes, only another trickle of blood ran down his arm. The features of the dwarrowdam suddenly hardened and in a quick movement she leaned over him to grab his wrists. Tensing, Fíli stopped his attempts. He wasn’t able to free himself and completely at her mercy! His heart fastened its beat fearfully. Faced with a situation like this all the tales about orcs, wargs and other creatures faded. Nothing was more terrifying than the woman that leaned over him, because he could only look on helplessly. If at least he’d a weapon… if he wasn’t bound… if his heart wouldn’t throb like it wanted to escape his chest. He was naked and couldn’t do anything.

 

“Stop it“, she demanded calmly, although Fíli had already given up on his pathetic attempts. “I’m not happy to see you like this, either. We have to bear it however, so we can finally face our future together.”

 

Fíli frowned, there had to be too much panic in his mind to comprehend her words. Before he could bring himself to ask what she was talking about the door to the chamber opened once more and a dwarf was pushed inside. Fíli’s eyes widened in horror. No other than Kíli fell to his hands and knees with a dull thud. His wrists were tightly bond as well, but at least he hadn’t been undressed. Not a heartbeat later a dwarf appeared behind his brother, grabbed him brusquely by the hair and pulled him up with them. Fíli could hardly believe what he saw.

 

“Keep your hands off him!“, he yelled in fury, while Kíli gave a groan under the harsh treatment.

 

Kíli’s features lost their pained expression, his lids widening aghast when he detected Fíli on the bed. Furiously, he struggled against his tormentor, tried to get to the side of his older brother, but a violent jolt to his hair yanked him back.

 

“Fíli!”, he cried. “What have you done to him? Untie him immediately!“ No one did as he said, of course, instead Kíli received a kick in the kidneys.

 

Fíli hadn’t the time to call his brother’s name once more, because a cloth was shoved into his mouth. At first he thought he was going to choke on the unfamiliar fabric on his tongue that felt like it filled out his whole throat, until something in his mind forced him to breathe through the nose to get the much needed air. His chest raised and lowered quickly, his heart seemed to beat faster and faster.

 

“He regained consciousness much faster than expected”, Torge noted, still fixing Kíli with a hand in his hair.

 

The dwarrowdam smiled. Amia! That was her name, Fíli suddenly remembered. Torges little sister, who’d loved to pick her big brother up after his training and had loved to watch them during their sessions as well. But her smile wasn’t anymore that of a cheerful child, something else sat behind it, something Fíli wasn’t able to explain under the terrible fear that held him captive.

 

“That’s how I know my Fíli. So much stronger than the others”, she purred, stroking his hair affectionately.

 

Fíli flinched from her touch, but couldn’t escape her disgusting hands. With wide eyes and flared nostrils he followed every of her movements, terrified. Amia just smiled her gentle, nearly reprehending smile he already came to hate.

 

“You don’t need to keep up this charade, my love”, she whispered. “It’s honourable that you want to maintain it. Your loyalty to your family is one of the many things I love you for. But it’s time to let go.”

 

“Keep your filthy hands off him!”, he heard his brother’s angry voice, followed by a smacking sound that silenced him.

 

Fíli wanted to turn his head, wanted to make sure that Kíli was all right, but Amia sat in front of him and blocked his view of the other happenings in the chamber.

 

“After this night we’re finally going to convince your uncle and your mother. I know, the daughter of a baker isn’t the match they expected for their golden heir, but as soon as I’m carrying your child, they have no choice but to give their blessings to our love”, with a smooth motion she slipped onto his lap.

 

Frantically, Fíli tried to buck her off, the tight ropes however, located him to the bed. But he needed to get her off of him! Off! Off! Off! His helpless screams were nearly completely swallowed by the cloth in his mouth.

 

She smiled down at him. “Fíli, you can end this game”, Amia repeated. “You don’t want to disappoint your brother, I understand. But don’t you realise that he’s always sabotaged our relationship? You always had to spent time with him, time the both of us could’ve used so much better. Today he will see how much you love me and after that he can disappear, so we can finally be together. He will go with the knowledge that you have found love. He will go with the knowledge that you’re happy.”

 

Fíli gasped for breath and tugged again and again at the ropes, it was in vain. Amia wasn’t even bothered by it, when she laid her head on his chest.

 

“Mhh”, she hummed. “You’re as excited as I am”, she laughed. She laughed! Oh, Mahal! Why didn‘t he found the strength to free himself? This couldn’t be happening! There had to be something he could do! But except for his fruitless escape attempt he wasn’t able to think of anything. His mind was frighteningly empty, only populated by a fear he’d never felt before. He was helpless, he couldn’t escape. She would rape him and kill his brother afterwards!

 

It started with a kiss to the cheek that made Fíli shudder with fright. Her fingers gently caressed his chest. Every single one of her touches left an uncomfortable prickling on his skin, it was going to remind him for a long time where she’d touched him. Fíli could barely breathe, the deafening panic in his mind felt like it cramped his lung. Amia just continued, kissing the corners of his mouth, perhaps because more was prevent by the cloth in his mouth, from his chin she worked down his neck, while her fingers rubbed his nipples demandingly.

 

By now Fíli’s body was shaking in despair and under a terrible wave of horror he realised that his body was responding to her touches. It didn’t matter how much he loathed her or that he was inwardly begging to every Valar he knew to save him, his body worked against him.

 

Black spots darted before his eyes from the lack of oxygen his frantic breathing had provoked. The buzzing in his ears was so loud that it swallowed any other noises and for a split second he wondered if it wouldn’t be better to lose consciousness all together to spare him from feeling what was inevitable.

 

And then, from one moment to another, the weight of the dwarrowdam was gone. Fíli breath was still too fast, his heart hammering painfully inside his chest. He couldn’t force himself to become calm again. What would she do next? Was this a trick? What a cruel joke to allow him to be lulled into a false sense of security only to reappear the next moment to finish, what she’d began. But the more seconds passed, the more of his sense returned to him. He heard a faint shuffle of boots, the rustling of clothes interspersed with heavy breathing. It nearly sounded like a fight. He wanted to turn his head, to see what was going on, but his body refused, grasped too tightly by the fear that felt like it was holding him captive for hours already, although it must’ve been mere minutes. Shudder after shudder rocked his body, while tears blurred his vision. He pressed his lids shut immediately to hold them back and gasped for air. Breathing got easier again, he would lose his mind however, if he couldn’t free himself soon! With a frantic groan Fíli gave the ropes an unsuccessful tug once more.

 

“Fíli!”, his name was suddenly called. Startled he flinched from the presence near him, he didn’t even need to see it to know that a person was there. It took what felt like an eternity until he realised, that he’d heard neither Torges nor Amias voice.

 

Opening his lids in an instant, his eyes went wide meeting the most wonderful sight he ever pictured. Kíli leaned over him with a concerned expression.

 

“Mahal, Fíli”, his brother breathed, he was shaking. Awkwardly he removed the cloth from Fíli’s mouth with his own still bound hands. Fíli didn’t know how Kíli had been able to free himself, it didn’t really matter anyway. It was only important that Kíli had succeeded.

 

Fíli coughed the moment he got rid of the cloth. “Everything is going to be all right, Fíli. I’m going to untie you in a bit. Everything is going to be fine”, he spouted worriedly. “I have to leave, just for a moment. I need something to cut the ropes with. I won’t be gone for long, I promise. I will be right back to help you. I promise. Everything is going to be all right, I’m untying you in a moment”, Kíli’s obvious panic, that seemed to be as intense as his own, clarified his thoughts. It had to be an automatic reflex, whenever his brother wasn’t well Fíli tried to calm and reassure him, just like now.

 

Using all of his self-control he breathed deeply. “Go, I’m all right”, he reassured Kíli. Nodding, his brother bustled off.

 

 _You are all right. You are all right. You are all right_ , he persuaded himself again and again. Kíli’s fear was more important and in the end, nothing had happened to him, thanks to his little brother. Despite himself repeating all these thoughts in his head, he was still shaking and couldn’t bring his body to stop.

 

Kíli returned after a little while with untied hands and armed with a kitchen knife. Immediately he started to cut the ropes and Fíli sat up with a relived sigh, his breathing became calmer as well, the too fast heartbeat and the trembling of his limbs, however, stayed. His arms and legs felt numb, when he left the bed. Hurriedly he brought a great distance between himself and the green sheets. Kíli was instantly at his side, slipped off his coat and handed it to Fíli. Grateful, he slipped in.

 

Only then he dared to eye his surroundings, but he was only able to catch a glimpse, for Kíli dragged him outside. Still he was able to see that the medallion wasn’t around Amia’s neck anymore – Kíli must’ve taken it – instead strangulation marks covered her throat, looking just like the ropes had caused them they’d been bound with. It told him how Kíli had saved him.

 

“Kíli, wait”, he stopped the younger after leaving the house of the siblings.

 

The other dwarf turned around worriedly, Fíli couldn’t tell what his brother was expecting to cause such an expression, but it didn’t matter, for he had a different concern. Standing beside Kíli, he pushed his brother’s hair to all sides with nervous hands.

 

“Fíli?“

 

He might’ve only caught a glimpse at Torge, but he’d spotted the tuft of dark hair in his clenched hand right away. Kíli must’ve seen no other choice, but to tear away from Torge, regardless of how much it would hurt him. It didn’t matter if he’d knocked Torge down or had strangled him like Amia. He just hoped it hadn’t caused an injury. After all, it would be Fíli’s fault. The poisoning, the assault on his mother, their kidnapping and now perhaps even Kíli’s head wound. If he should be the reason his brother was hurting, he would never forgive himself.

 

“Fíli.”

 

And then he found it, a big, nearly star-shaped, bald spot. Fíli gasped, his heart still pounding much too fast, the nausea had returned to his stomach as well. He did this. How agonizingly it must’ve been for him to break free and only for Fíli’s sake. He was responsible. Of course, the wound did not bleed, but his brother’s head must hurt so bad, that it was astonishing how well the younger could control his features. What had he done?

 

“Oh, Mahal”, he breathed in shock. “How are you feeling? Are you all right? You should go to Óin. Who knows, what this did to your head. This can’t be good, not at all. Oh… oh… I’m so sorry, Kíli, this shouldn’t have been-“

 

“Fíli!”, his brother suddenly snapped at him, which caused Fíli to give a wince of fright.

 

Swallowing hard, Fíli dared only slowly to meet Kíli’s eyes.

 

“How I am feeling?”, Kíli asked aghast. “Fíli, how are _you_?“

 

“What about me?”, he pressed uncomprehendingly, before a violent shudder chased through his body.

 

Disbelieving, Kíli blinked.

 

“Fíli… she almost raped you”, he whispered troubled.

 

Fíli inhaled sharply. To hear it being said so unadorned felt like a slap. Something in him had tried desperately to suppress the knowledge, despite the horrifying moments he just had to go through. Kíli’s words however, had mercilessly brought him back to reality, in which he now, despite the coat, felt terribly exposed. The shaking in his limbs got worse with every heartbeat. She would’ve… within a hair's breadth… if it hadn’t been for Kíli…

 

And all at once Kíli’s arms were there. They embraced him so tightly that it nearly took Fíli’s breath away. He’d never thought possible to feel so much gratitude for a simple hug, but this was exactly what he felt. It calmed his heartbeat and soothed the trembling in his body. Exhausted he leaned his brow against Kíli’s shoulder and savoured the tight embrace for a while that radiated so many things: warmth, comfort, but above all safety. He was thankful for Kíli, thankful for his mother and Thorin, because his family gave him a feeling of security he felt nowhere else.

 

He closed his lids tiredly. The halls were deserted, through Fíli couldn’t tell what times it was and Kíli must’ve lost track of time, too. But it was late at night, this much was obvious, otherwise the voices of countless dwarves would echo from the walls.

 

“I’m so sorry, Kíli”, Fíli mumbled feebly.

 

They stayed as they were, although he could hear how his brother held his breath.

 

“By Mahal! What are you apologising for?”, he asked, sounding completely confused.

 

“This is all my fault, if it wasn’t for me nothing would’ve-“

 

“Stop it, right now!”, Kíli interrupted him with a snarl. “It’s not your fault that she chose you as her victim. It’s not your fault, that she is mad”, Kíli tried to reason.

 

Reluctantly, he nodded. Of course, Kíli was right, at the same time it didn’t help to get rid of the nagging feeling inside him and he knew that it would take a long time until it finally happened. When he thought of all the pain his family had to endure in the last month the little voice in his head would remind him that it was he, who’d attracted her. It had been him and no one else.

 

“Come, let’s bring you home”, Kíli said as the brothers broke their embrace. Fíli was thankful that nothing had changed and Kíli was still at his side. His body was even now on alert, but Kíli’s presence dispelled some of the tension he still felt.

 

When Kíli led Fíli to his own room with a strange expression in his eyes that worried Fíli, he didn’t protest. Perhaps it was childish, perhaps it was a normal reaction after what had happened, but he too feared to be left alone now. Even though Kíli had to leave for a little while, it was his familiar scent sticking to the whole chamber that calmed Fíli. Meanwhile his little brother informed Thorin of their knowledge, thankfully keeping a secret what Amia had almost done. Fíli would need a couple of weeks to feel ready, and until the nightmares faded, before he was going to tell Dís and Thorin of the happenings of this night. So Kíli strained the truth, as he told Fíli later. Instead he said that Torge confessed his guilt under the influence of alcohol. The former puzzle was now pieced together to a clear picture. Torge was the apprentice of a healer and knew the effects of all kinds of plants, including rhododendron. Dís’ medallion convicted the siblings as well. Fíli didn’t care what Thorin arranged as a result, it was enough to know that he was never going see Torge and Amia again.

 

“Move over, I’m not going to sleep on the floor”, Kíli said as he returned to the chamber.

 

Fíli followed the instructions with a small smile, glad that his brother didn’t treat him like a fragile being. For a while they just laid side by side in the darkness without saying a word, eventually Kíli took a deep sigh.

 

“I wonder if that’s how the dragon sickness looks”, he whispered to his brother and the quietness of the chamber.

 

Fíli frowned.

 

“Why are you thinking this?”

 

A soft tug at his hair was the answer. “Not all treasures are gold.”

 

Normally such sentimental words would’ve made him snort, but not this time. Not after Kíli had saved his life, accepting to get hurt in the process. Not when there was so much truth in his words. His family was a greater treasure than any pile of gold inside Erebor. They proved it to him anytime, like Kíli in the same night, when he calmed him after Fíli awoke from a nightmare.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. :)


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